Things that make me happy today

I am soooo happy that I can take control of a bad situation and find things to make me happy almost immediately. Life is great!! Here are a couple things about today that make me soooo happy.

#1 - my dinner date. I know I have already posted this picture but it is going in this post too because it is the only one on my computer. I am excited to be domestic for a good looking man that seems to adore me.


#2 - This picture! Tough guys with a soft side are H-O-T.


#3 - Christmas Lights are UP!! I got out of work early today so I used the time to get some Christmas lights up. This makes me happy. I think I will add more lights soon but just these lights and having had the time to do it today make me H-A-P-P-Y!!




#4 - A great workout. Something about being fired up gives me great energy and adrenaline to lift faster and heavier. I felt like a gym super star. And now I am headed back to tackle the stair stepper . . . BRING IT!!

#5 - Cheerleading friends!! Ones that text me and say they love me. Ones that assume the role of body guard. A fabulous roommate-friend!

#6 - My new General Conference talk CDs that arrived in the mail yesterday and kept me company in the car today. Love it!!

Lust

It doesn't happen very often that I develop a crush on a hottie stranger or celebrity. But it has happened 3 times in the last couple years and I thought I would dedicate this blog entry to those hottie men that have given me tingles without even so much as a touch.

#1 - the stock model in our "we know you're not afraid of needles" - give blood campaign. I love him. He is posted up at my desk and I think I want to frame him.



#2 The hottie fireman that I saw at the Safeway in Newberg 2 summers ago. I believe we made some significant eye contact too. Man! I was ready to corrupt myself and him both. Pure lust doesn't happen like that very often for me.



#3 And most recently . . . Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I dreamt about him last night. I love his ruggedness and charming smile. He is my latest crush and am grateful for him coming into my life. He makes me smile just to look at him.

Why I hate dating (part 2)

I dont like gambling. Its a waste of resources (time, money, feelings, saliva). To be completely honest, I guess I have gambled on a few occasions but it was just for entertainment value. For instance, one time I joined an office football pool where I had to pay $5 each week and make my team picks for the week. That was fun. It was a social activity. And I actually won the pool 3 times that season.
Another time I gambled on slot machines in Vegas. And once in the Bahamas. The Bahamas was a "i've-never-done-this-before-so-I'll-waste-4-quarters-to-say-I've-done-it" experience. In Vegas I got free tokens so it wasn't really my resources I was wasting.
But lately I have realized that love and dating are pretty much a stacked-against-you gamble. I dont like it. I dont want to discredit the entertainment value of the sport but once the chips start adding up to more than 4 quarters I start getting a little hestitant to keep playing. Especially when I think I might be playing a losing hand. And chances are . . . . most hands will be losers.
Here was some ways I relate dating (and love) to gambling:
#1 - the # of dates you go on does not in any way increase your chances of winning a jackpot
#2 - it is much, much more common to win back 10 quarters (still exciting) than to win any sort of jackpot
#3 - winning 10 quarters is exciting enough to keep most people interested and coming back for more.
#4 - just when you are ahead, you can lose it all on a stupid bet/ hand/ trick-up-someone elses sleeve
#5 - keeping a poker face is wise but much less fun for others and results in people not wanting to play with you
#6 - beginners luck sucks for those that have been playing a long time
#7 - just when you walk away from a table or slot machine chances are someone new will sit down and win your jackpot out from underneath you
#8 - gambling and love are addictive and irrational
#9 - Gambling and love both have tendancies to leave people saying "what the H was I thinking?" and "Why the H did I think that was a good idea??" and "Why the H didn't I walk away when I still had my shirt on (this is a figure of speech)."
#10 - When you do win the jackpot everyone else is jealous

Going Public Again

Arg . . . fine. I will go public again. Who cares. Now anyone can read my rants and antics again. Just dont quiz me about them later. OK? OK. . . .

Anonymity

There is something about knowing other people are reading my blog that makes me anxious. This blog started off as a square assignment and a personal venue for me to muse and rant about whatever was on my mind or rather whatever was mindlessly floating around in my head.
Its not particularly that what I say is secret, its just that I dont necessarily want to talk about what I blog about. So when I get phone calls from people wanting clarification it makes me uncomfortable. If you want to comment about what I write do it on my blog. Set up your own blog. I dont want to talk about it.
I wonder if I should set up a new blog with more anonymity. I am kind of irritated that the number of my blog readers are increasing outside the square. The square is safe. But I guess I will adjust and hope my readers adjust too. (B.L. - this is not referencing you.)
Can you hear me now??

Accomplishments

I was thinking the other day about little life accomplishments. It is easy to dwell on big life failures but little life accomplishments are what keep me going. So I thought I would post just a little example since I thought of it.
A while ago someone wrote me a "i hate you because . . ." letter. It was 12 pages hand written, front and back. It bulged in the sealed envelope that was handed to me.
I knew that a bulging envelope like that could not contain anything that I wanted to read so I didn't. I didn't even open the envelope. I stuck it in my book and basically forgot about it.
A few days later my "hater" called me to apologize for the note. They had been angry and needed to vent. They hoped I would forgive them for the things they had written.
I told them that I had never read the note. They were shocked. Perhaps a little disappointed, and yet extremely relieved. They asked if I was the least bit curious and how I had restrained myself. They called me "inspired." The next time I saw that person I handed them the sealed envelope back. Not another word was spoken about it.
I am not really sure if I was "inspired." In fact, I think I was just cowardly. Recently I received a voicemail from someone that gives me great anxiety. I couldn't bear to listen to the message so I made someone else listen to it and then delete it.
People say things they dont mean. People say things they do mean but feel guilty about later. People dont say things they should.
Regardless . . . I have never wished I had read that letter.

Did you know???

Did you know that pumpkins grow in trees? Well I have photo evidence.
I guess I am somewhat unobservant sometimes. Atleast when it comes it chores.
I was mowing the lawn on Saturday and saw a vine growing in my tree and was kind of annoyed at it because I thought it was a weed of some kind and I would have to deal with it later. Well today I was out in my back yard again looking at the vine in my tree and I noticed a pretty large pumpkin (albeit a green pumpkin) attached to it. I further examined and saw that a single vine had found its way through my fence from my neighbors yard. That single vine grew and forced its way up my butterfly bush and into the 8 foot branches of my tree. And there dangling 8 feet off the the ground was a pumpkin! And there was another pumpkin growing 2 feet off the group closer to the fence. And I feel pretty dumb because obviously this has been going on for weeks right in my own backyard and I didn't even know it. Crazy!
I showed two friends the pumpkin phenomenon today and one said that it was the craziest thing he's seen all year. (I am pretty sure he's seen more than a couple crazy things too.)
Here are some pictures of the phenomenon.
#1 - the sneaky vine
#2 - the pumpkin dangling 2 - 3 feet off the ground by the fence
#3 - the pumpkin in the tree (8 feet off the ground)
#4 - the whole picture