Things that dont make sense

Why do i do things that i know are steps back? Why is the most precious, adorable admirer also the one i need to not be with? Why, when we all crave reassurance, do we not reassure? Why did i give myself a convincing pep talk about "no cheesecake" and then gobble some up? Why did someone get mad at me for bringing delicious refreshments? Why am i not in bed right now?

Day After Fruitcake

• Today I drove for the first time since last Thursday.
• I usually don't like to use proper punctuation but in this post I will try.
• I only had one piece of pie on Christmas day; to be specific, it was in fact, cheesecake not pie.
• Sentences with lots of commas can be tricky.
• Today was a good day at work. I was very productive and, more interestingly, got to see the giddy, girly side of someone who usually is very private.
• I had a very unexpected missionary experience today. It made me happy to feel "trustworthy & reliable."
• For Christmas dinner last night we had rib eye steak. I was happy about that.
• My mom made monkey bread for the first time in many years. I have left overs in my car and am excited to eat them.
• My roommate comes home tomorrow. Hopefully things will be back to normal.
• I have destroyed my kitchen in hopes to make it beautiful.
• Removing tile is harder work than one may think.
• As a proud yellow, I am a bit disappointed that tonight I will be skipping a party.
• I was going to go to the gym tonight but I am using my snowy driveway as an excuse not to go.
• I have a crush on a boy at work that also has a crush on me. He gets back to Portland on Monday. I am nervous about that.
• Sometimes crushes can be confusing.
  
• Sneaky kisses are exciting. Excitement can confuse true feelings.
• I need to unload my car. More accurately, I need to unload the car that I borrowed from my parents because I cannot get mine out of my garage.
• I have seen talk shows that reunite long lost family members after extended separation. This week Facebook, after a 22.5 year separation, did the same for me and my family.
• I think I gave good gifts this year.

Ridiculous . . .

i have said that i have no words about the _ _ _ _ & _ _ _ that have shut down the greater portland area but i do have words about the pros & cons of being stranded.

friday i got a ride to work and then a ride to girls night with my girlz from work. there was some mighty delicious food there. lasagna, chocolate bunt cake (made with applesauce & sugarfree pudding) - - that cake rocked.
while i was at girls night it started to _ _ _ _. earlier I had felt like a wimp for not driving to work cause the roads where dry. but at midnight when we left girls night i was very grateful for carol who was my ride AND for the post girls night girl talk that ensued.

saturday was the beginning of my hostage situation. i had one thing on my to do list: go to the post office and mail E, H, & L's christmas package. thanks to J & D mission was accomplished and then i had lunch at a chinese buffet with a bunch of potty mouth boys (and a secret crush missionary).





sunday i did not leave my house. i finished the "ugly" puzzle and read an entire book.





today work was officially closed. well HR was closed (we are non essential to saving lives) so i am destroying my kitchen. some girls should just not be allowed to handle tools (hand or power).





PROS: no work, reading time, friends who drive me, constant christmas lights all over, me time, started extreme home makeover - kitchen edition, good tunes, mail is still being delivered and delivering some pretty heartwarming cards at that, my cat is alive, i am fantastic company for myself (not boring at all!).

CONS: sister is stuck in utah and cannot make it to oregon for christmas, my house is an absolute disaster (A.D.D. and cabin fever is not a good combo), the cat is hanging out inside against my better judgement, my family is without power and stranded as well - - i am wondering if i will make it up to parrett mountain for christmas, i am wasting all my vacation days being home alone.





Highlights: the chocolate cake from friday, the chicken mac & cheese from saturday, nachoes from sunday, vanilla hot chocolate, biscuits & gravy today. comfort food . . . oh and joe's attempt to entertain me by breaking a piece of _ _ _ _/_ _ _ on his head and getting a nasty "mark" and cut. its not a highlight that he got hurt but since he went through such effort to entertain me it must get an honorable mention.

Random Review AND Deep Dish Brownies

I heard a quote several years ago that has stuck with me. Of course I am a paraphraser: "if everyone in the world gained 10 pounds we would all be much closer together." As I blog my accountability for all the dessert I eat, I find that I really do feel much closer to many of you in the process.
But in addition to my sweet tooth admissions, I also I have a few random share points to intermingle with the talk of food.
#1 - I am sooo excited to see my sis, Katie, and her family next week. And not just because there is a 100% chance that she & my other sis, Mary, will make deep dish brownies.
#2 - I love the Fergie song Clumsy. It is fun to fall in love. OK, the whole "falling in love" thing may be an exaggeration but I love new crushes. Especially new crushes that give gifts of homemade COOKIES!! And plan private cookie making parties. On the dessert scale of 1 - 10, cookies rate about a 4 or 5. But special crush cookies rate a 10!!! And I love SECRET crushes and related rendevous. Deliciously daring!! Sometimes I think I might go straight to hell for lust and gluttony but "a girl cant help it."
#3 - I have come to terms that I am a spoiled brat. Thoughtful gifts of rainbow sprinkles, GUMMY BEARS and chocolate from one that is too charming really puts me in the Christmas spirit. Two weeks ago I was feeling pretty ba-hum-bug but after cookie parties and gifts of GUMMIES I cant get Jingle Bells out of my head and the skip out of my step.
#4 - I am also HUMBLED by how blessed I really am to have good friends and supportive family. On Sunday I attempted to drive in inclement weather to my parents' house where my dad was waiting to put studded snow tires on my little car. However, on the way I got stuck in the snow and ice. MY HEROES SAVED ME!! Mikey came to my rescue and took me to a delicious burrito & fondue party with cozy, family-like friends. After an evening of friends and food, Joe took me to rescue my car. Then my fantastic roommate, Natalie, chauffered me to work on Monday. ily all.
#5 - Cold weather makes me crave blankets, books, and homemade SOUP!! Last night I made some deliciously sensual chicken and rice soup. mmmmm . . . . . and I got to share the soup with my roommate in matching blue bowls and then with my coworker Carol today at work.
#6 - Last weekend was my roommate's annual sweater party that included her traditional wassail. However, the drink hit of the evening was some eggnog delight that was mixed with delicious eggnog icecream. I have never had egg nog before and I dont think I ever will again unless it has eggnog icecream in it. It was delicious. Whose brilliant idea was that?? (hint: i am fishing for blog comments here . . .)

Now I do . .

I actually think I may be becoming less stubborn than I used to be. That is kind of a scary thought since I can still be pretty stubborn. But I have been making efforts to do things that before I was close minded to (aka: refused to consider.) Here are a few accomplishments:
1. Eating jello - - before I refused to eat it because i heard that it had bone and horse hoofs in it. many many years have passed until just this last month I tried it. its delicious. atleast in sugar free snack pack form. i love it.
2. Eating hot dogs - - I have not eaten a hot dog since 2nd grade. then this summer I ran a half marathon and ate a free veggie dog at the end of the race. It was so fantastic. I had a kosher dog for my birthday. This is a big step for me.
3. Reading in the bathroom - - This used to disgust me. and since so many people read in the bathroom books from used book stores and/or libraries disgusted me. but I am making efforts to get past this. i think it is working. I now even have a library card.
4. Eating in my bedroom. perhaps this comes from my phobia of ants (and bugs in general). but I am pushing past this nerosis and actaully have a little celebration inside myself when I see a dirty dish on my desk in my bedroom.

So there you go . . . those are a couple of my small accomplishments over the last few months.

You never know . . .

Sometimes, usually right after I put on my poker face toward life, I am AMAZED at humanity and how detailed my own personal cosmo is. In the sky of Sara's universe there are occasional comets and shooting starts. Even in my own universe there is so much uncharted space. The vastness of that uncharted space thrills me and gives me infinite hope.
People in general are fascinating. And every once in a while I get to meet and glimpse the humanity of someone outside of my usual realm of association. These experiences leave me giddy for more.

The Devil in my plant

For my work anniversary this year my boss gave me a plant. Over the past few months there have been character changes in the plant. Half of the plant is dead, dried up and ugly. The other half of the plant is alive, youthful and beautiful. These two halves are very distinct (as you can see below).

The other day I forgot to do something before I left for an appointment. When I got back I learned that people had had to scramble to get it figured out. My boss came in to explain the situation and I pointed to the plant that he had given me. I told him that the devil side of the plant had possessed me to leave without making sure things were in order. (He actually accepted that excuse.)

In similar theory, I have been thinking a lot about "the bigger person" vs. "the littler person". Just once I would like someone to tell me to remain immature and childish and that the other person should be "the bigger person." It never happens. I think it is my destiny to be "the bigger person." Sometimes this destiny makes me irritated. I like being immature and ridiculous dammit!

But then I picture my dad shaking his head in disappointment at me and then I feel embarrassed.

Sometimes I hate taking the step to be "the bigger person" but in the end I usually feel good and strong and, yes, even powerful. There really is power is being good.

Conclusion: I hope that the devil possessing half my plant is exorcised and that my plant lives a long and flourishing plant life.